Pretend (C3)

Prompt: C3. There may as well be only one person in the room

Say you love me again.

I know you don’t mean it, but say it again anyway. Let the words roll over my shoulders and leave goosebumps in its wake. Let your voice soothe an imaginary ache in my heart. I don’t mean it either, even as my voice catches as I proclaim my love for you. I don’t mean even as I proclaim I would die for you, as I confess that you mean more to me than the world we are fighting for together, but I love the idea of a love that powerful. My heart pounds with the intensity of it all as I fall into the fantasy of the love story we’ve created together.

We’re acting, but that doesn’t stop my heart from latching on to your rushed and whispered confession. Doesn’t stop the tears from pooling in the corner of my eyes. It doesn’t stop me from getting too close, from learning what you need as I pretend to fit in that role. It’s all acting: the soft look in your eyes and the warmth of your hands in mine. It’s playing: the way we promise to protect each other and the way we cherish each other. We are surrounded by people, but for me there may as well only be one person in the room. We’re married to other people, but in this moment my heart yearns for only you. You are everything to me.

Sometimes, it feels like more than playing. When each day is a new layer of love, of hurt, of too much and not enough and promises of a new tomorrow. When we have hushed conversations of surprises or tender moments behind the scenes for us alone. That’s me. I’m in love with desire, with tenderness and passion, and you meet me where I am and raise the stakes.

It’s just written off as my character if I’m feeling too much. So yes, let’s play again. Let’s pretend some more. I love pretending to love you.